Originally published on Persephone Magazine. Please note: Fat sex is a very big issue heh. Because my area of expertise is limited to sex with size difference as a woman with a vagina, I chose not to explore other areas of fat sex, such as the mechanics of two fat people having sex or trans fat sex for women without vaginas. I welcome all here with that experience to speak up and contribute if they feel comfortable. Sometimes that made me feel more at ease, but mostly it became tedious, distracted me from feeling sexy, and annoyed the crap out of my partner who just wanted to see his hot girlfriend naked. Well, he totally knew how fat I was, and guess what. It took me a long time to realize that my partners were having sex with me in part because of the way my body looks, not in spite of the way my body looks. This understanding is not something that happens overnight for most of us. Hell, it can take years.
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10 Sex Positions All Plus-Size Couples Should Master
AskMen may get paid if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service. Even a very confident person can feel self-conscious when it comes to being naked and sexual with a partner, especially if their body shape makes certain sex positions tricky to attempt. There are also some product suggestions to really help you both take things to the next level. Sexologist Dr. Megan Stubbs recommends giving your bed a break and taking your lovemaking out onto your much sturdier couch to get the deed done. This can be an erotic position for oral and penetrative sex. You likely already know the pros of the view that come with doing it in this position.
Touch—and I cannot stress this enough—the FUPA.
The F Word is a series celebrating what it means to be fat — from destigmatizing the word to taking stock of the discrimination fat people face. Whatever size you are — fat, skinny, or anywhere in between — you should feel comfortable and good about what you are doing, and that includes sex. Just you. To get more clear on what consent means and entails check out this cool graphic brought to you by Planned Parenthood. And, of course, there are many ways to make sex safer, which you can learn more about here.
Many years before I got together with my boyfriend, I had a sex thing with this guy that I thought was relationship-material. He not only had an amazing body but a great personality as well. I was honest when I met him that I was looking for something more than just sex, and he led me to believe that was what he wanted, too. Between having mind-blowing sex, we ordered in, played video games, and watched movies, couple-y type things but without the label. But when I tried to get him to go to a show or out to dinner with me, he refused.